saying no??

HAS BEEN SAYING NO RECENTLY....

saying NO for attending birthday party that i dun feel like attending..
saying NO for the lunch outing that had been planned..
saying NO for joining lunch with coursemates....
saying NO when I really really DO NOT WANT...

it might be very common to others for saying NO...
but not to me..
I don't know how to reject people..
I don't know how to say NO..
I just cant see people's disappointing faces...
I just cant hear their disappointing tones...
I just cant...

I will still say yes and join everything i could no matter how...
I will still say yes to anyone if i can help out no matter how I am busy..
I will still say yes to anything that came to me no matter how unwilling for me to do it..
I will still say OK,YES...and end up regretted like nobody business...

But...forget bout those past...
AT LEAST....I'm able to say NO whenever I dun feel like to do it...
I dunno what changed me...
perhaps...when you got turn down by more people, you will start to build your own shelter...
when time goes...you will know...
rejecting people is not a big deal as u wil be rejected too...so...
SO WHAT for SAYING NO??

realize some advantages when you reject people...
1st....you have your very own time to do your own thing...ENJOY SLEEPING...SAVE MONEY...
2nd...you do not have to rush for your own stuff just to be at somewhere else that you dun really feel like being there...
(p/s: it's my fault for not having good time management...i admit it..and that's why i need more time to be wasted...  :P)
3rd..I wont force yourselves to be polite,or just putting a fake smile,being a stupid clown there when the event is cold...
(p/s: my EQ is the WORST among my friends..i cant control my black face..so..it's actually good for me to be isolated sometimes...)

see..
with this simple three advantages...
I found the "joy" for saying NO....
ya...
you might really be outdated with the group...
you might be automatically not called after rejecting..
you might dunno what is happening around...
you might just be a normal friend rather than a good friend....

BUT...
if that really happen....
they aren't your TRUE FRIEND....
TRUE FRIEND stick together no matter what...
TRUE FRIEND will still accept your bad and hot tempered..
TRUE FRIEND can tell whether r u in the good mood or bad mood....

had been moody lately...
I need listener..is not that i dun have...
it's just that...
i dunno how to start..
I dunno what is my problem..
I am stress..and i dunno what m i stressing about!!
I still talk like usual no matter where m I..
but...
something is different....
i dunno what is the problem..
I just dunno....
haizzz...
just that...
I'm really not one that can study..
that I always trouble ppl and even stressing out ppl.....sigh.. :'(
Miss Loke...you are just nothing....
not good in a single thing at ALL!!