stressful nitez..

I'll b having my Econ development paper in....
erm...7 more hours time?
Statistics II paper in 13 more hours time perhaps?

2 paper in 1 day again...
and its STAT!!

life sucks whn everythg comes v CALCULATION!!

hw many times i've been telling d others..
i shud nt go 4 Econs..
I shud hav took Linguistik..
or some other subject without Calculation..
Some other subject tat i can throw away d calculator?

haiz..
i'm nt gd in calculation..
i'm nt gd in memorising..

i wonder..
wat m i really gd am..

its another stressful and emo night..
czme bac frm hui yee's room at tis hour n i'm stil nt done v my studies...

haiz..
life do sucks whn finals is here..
tis is d N times i'm blamming myself for doin LAST MINUTES work again..

bt wil tis b another improvement tat during tis sem's study n exam week,
Instead of missing those matrics day..
i started to miss my 1st yr Study week..

Sem 1...D DS biscuits, my birthday, er shao jessica, me gui ying, lobak hanging around Ds n study...
Sem 2..head over Gui Ying's room..suffer together for Stat I..asking Nik to teach us..went over Aunty Emily's room for Macro, Law...Getting closer v d xiao zha bor gang..

This sem..
everythg seems to b like QUIET...
n even myself..
d used to b noisy,high profile JY is nw more quiet..
lazy to talk perhaps...

last time i was labeled as Happy go Lucky..
bt i guess nw..
wat i hav in ppl eyes r only ..
emotional..-ve..selfish...n again..BURDEN...

I'm trying 2 grow up nw..
i'm trying to b quiet so tat i can really b low profile..
I'm trying to stand still...so tat i can b strong enuf..
I'm trying to solve thgs myself...
T'm trying hard not to make thgs more complicated...

UNTIL...
I felt i'm loosing myself...
i'm no more myself...
who m i actually?
I AM ASKING MYSELF too....
wat m i used to be?

where's d jy owez v a smile on her face?
where's d jy tat ppl x tahan bcz of her noisy-ness?
where's d over friendly jy tat every1 noe?
where's she?

i guess tat she has losts her way..
she has her self conflict inside her..
she's blur..
sometimes she cant differentiate which is d true her n which mask is she putting on..
only Hy wil c her true face i guess....although HY wil ask her to "DIAM"!!
bt it's gd 2 hav some1 for me 2 complain...

argh!!

its another emo n stresdful night..
gotta get bac to my studies dy...

Reminder : remind me 2 blog bout my birthday celebration ya...^^