thx for hurting me...

I wanna say...

thx..
thx for hurting me...
thx..
thx for giving me d chance to grow up...
thx..
thx for letting me noe...wat does d true friendship mean..
thx...
thx for letting me noe...i'm jz like a piece of shit in ur eyes..

for d pass few days..
my world was lie turning up side down...
everythg was in a mess..
my friendship, my relationship..
everythg..
until i even started to believe tat ..
i'm jz mend to b alone..

there's nothg such as true friendship in the reality...
no matter hw u take them as...
no matter hw u see them as...
they feel nothg..
all ur efforts r jz like a cold jokes made by an idiot clown jz to brighten up ur days...

suppose to hav a great time at Gan's house the other day..
yet..
i din enjoy it at all..
ya.
mayb shan is right...
durin d whole night...
who is there to concern I'm no more bein noisy..
who is there to ask...r u ok?
who is there for me?

ya..
u can say tat..
i'm an adult..
n i shud b more mature..
stop being such emotinal...
stop relying on friendship...

bt..
those who knows me..
friendship is such an important element in my life..
is it tat support me when ever i'm down..
is it to hold me on whn i'm giving up..
is it tat brighten up my day..

was blaming myself for nt being updated..
was blaming myself for being emotional..
was blaming myself for showing black face..
was blaming myself for making gang breaking into two parts..
in the pass few days...
I suffer..
suffer for blaming myself...

Yet..
thgs changes whn i noe somethg frm Shan...
n..
only i realize..
hw NOT important r we to them...
to them..
we are JUST NOTHING bt a clown...

some1 they can forget whn they r having so much fun..
some1 they never think of whn they r enjoying..
some1 jz like a stranger for them..

bt..
i admit..
it was my fault tis time..
for goin out for ice cream without waiting 4 them...
yaya..
n letting them hav an excuse for din even let us noe where they went...


hw many times i've told myself for being COLD..
hw many times i've told myself jz let it be...
hw many times i've told myself to kan kai dian..
hw many times i've lie to myself..
thgs wil b alright...
thousands and thousands of times..

and i'm so cold nw..

after being alone in da room..
nt knowing where d others went..
i stay awake til almost 4am..
yet..
i'm all alone..

seeing shan putting so much effort in letting me noe..
there's true frenship..
seeing her hw she is hurt by nw..

ya..
shan..
u r right...
we hav ourselves...
we hav both of us...
i'll b there for u..
owez...

ya..
HY.
u r right..
i gota stop taking such simple thg so serious...
whn i stil hav xie jiao with me.....