"BEST" roommate award..

i was sad..
I was hurt..
N u got me right..i WAS..

there was a post b4 this...
n i've deleted it..

i'm nw able to think..
They r not worth for my tears..
They r nobody for me to care of..
They r jz a stranger tat manage to hurt me..

N i'm glad..they taught me how to grow..

If anybody wants a roommate,ur can actually find them..
They can give u d privacy u want..100%guarantee..

Publicity for perfect roommate:

I'm sensitive..n i admit tat..n they r jz so good,purposely go enjoy without telling..eventhough we were together b4 they went singing k...jz bcz they scare i'll become emo..

I'm busy..n they r jz so kind..knowing tat i'm so busy n they wont even ask bout my will whether to join them for d entertainment activity..
They r jz so good tat they know i have no time n wont wanna join them anymore..

I'm quiet..shock?quiet?d word on me?yet.tis is d situation nw where 3of us r in d room..
They r so good tat knowing i'm owez busy n nid some quietness during my free time..n they x wanna spoilt d quietness i'm enjoying in d room..n therefore they'll chat through msn, eventhough the room is jz so small...
Wat a good roommate i have..

It's almost 5,
N i'm room alone again..
It reminds me bout d previously incident..which really brought me,shan&lobak together..
which really changed shan...
which nearly caused my world to become up side down....

I stil can remember clearly bout me n hui teng's talk after d pro occur..

Hui teng:"we all know tat u dun like to b alone in d room..we know tat u like ppl around u..d only mistake we did was we din ask u ourselves.."
Once my dearest roommate..

Ya..right..u all know that i hate being alone in d room..i feel emptiness,i feel loneliness..yet..
wat did ur do was..goin without me n find such lame excuses..

N here comes..
Y do i think they deserve tis award..

They r soOoOo CARING..knowing tat i'm not feeling well..nid more rest..n therefore my caring roommates wait until i fall aslp only go out for mid9 movie..n send me a msg after goin out..such caring roommates i hav..shud i b happy?
They know i nid more rest le..n i shud enjoy d quietness without them..
Therefore i strongly agree tat they SHOULD get d best roommate award..

I'm once again alone in d room..
So sleepy..so tired..n i'm praying hard..so tat i wont k more bout frens..frens r nothg now. Thx for crushing my simple thought once again..

i really nid 2 learn..
i really nid to grow..
i really nid 2 b tough...

bt...i'm stil glad...
i have shan with me...
i'm stil happy..
i have my beloved coursemates...
i'm stil nt alone..
i have irene there for me...

N..
dun worry peeps..
i'll b ok...really....

finally....

finally...
i had burst into tears after Macro II lecture...
it was kinda embarrassing...
bt luckily, it was only in front of my beloved course mates...

i blame myself for being such stupid...
i hate myself for being a slow learner..
i jz cant understand y i cant cope in stress while the others can..

bt..
at least..
i felt better...
at least...
i noe there r stil alot frens for me there...

the only thg i can do now is...
relax myself...get some free time for my own...
I actually plan 2 do preparation for Macro presentation tml..
bt..after few days of being so tension.,..
yest i've made my decision..
i wanna go shopping!!
i wanna go sing K!!
i dun k hw i'll feel after i hav a crazy day tml...

any1 wanna join?


p/s : countdown-ing for SUKMUM to end....

simple wish...

i have a simple wish..
i'm wishing i have an extra 1hour everyday...

1 hour...

for me 2 slp...
for me 2 do my own stuff...
for me 2 have a good rest...
for me 2 day-dreaming...
for me 2 read my long abandoned novel...
for me 2 finish 1 episode of drama...
for me 2 b me..

it sounds like a simple wish..
yet...
its so hard for me...

i'm so emo ...
i'm so depress..
i'm so stress...
i'm so tension...
i'm so tight...

i wanna go shoppng..
i wanna go sing k..
i wanna go 4 a movie...
i wan some time for my novels..
yet.....

here m i...
trying to ignore everthg n blog..

luckily i have a bunch of xiao zha bor...
they were owez there to cheer me up..

luckily i have shan to b there v me...
n i really enjoy our quality time every night after 12.am( cz its d only time we both can really settle down)
i cant imagine wat i'll b whn she's shifting bac to her room...

nt forgetting Joey..
her happy go-lucky style really cheer me up everyday b4 i slp..^^

m i tough enuf to go through tis?
m i strong enuf to face d stress?

NO...
i'm nt strong..
i'm nt tough...

yet..
i'm forcing myself...
facing all d activities i'm involving..

gasping for some fresh air..
countdown-ing till the end of SUKMUM, Quan Bian, FESENI...

I'm gonna burst..
i wanna cry like nobody business..
i wanna walk under the rain like last time..
i wanna shop like i'm a millionaire..

bt...
it's still my choice..
n i'm going to finish it..
no matter what....

bless me....

beloved coursemates...

thx for being there...
thx for giving me d advices...
thx for telling me the true meaning of friendship..
especially in my critical time....

thx Mum Jessica...thx for being there whenever i nid u...
thx sinyee..thx for all d crapping time we share together..
thx aunty emily...thx for all d advice that u gave me whenever i'm down..
thx aunty amy for all support whenever i'm down v my studies...
thx hui yee for bringing them to me...n being my best listener...

i was soOooo touched today....
when i was rushing my suppose to finish d tutor...
they were there for me..
when i was so stress while understanding my tutor..
they were there for me...
when i have no time for group discussion..
they din blame me for not giving commitment...

thx for bringing my confidence towards friendship...
thx for being there...

and
i'm really sorry for keep troubling u all..
i'm really sorry for not giving commitment..
i'm really sorry for doing anythg....

love this xiao zha bor gang soOooooOo MUCH!!

emo

it's my emo time again..lol..
AGAIN..
haiz..
was bz during the whole day today v PKB's camp...
enjoy the stupid act that we all did..
cherish the moment forever...
looking at them, it brings me bac to my 1st year..
the year that I relly really missed with my whole life...
n how i wish i have a life video cam that can rewind every thg...

by looking ta them..
i remember hw bad i was..
by seeing their spirit..
i remember hw semangat we were...
by running those activity..,
i remember the craziness we shared together..

bt..
those was past...
there;s no more turning back..

n...
so do i v my roommate..
was actually listening to SHE's 星星之火...it used to b our C110 song...
yet...
i skip it whenever i heard the beginning part...
i still feel the pain..
n..
today...
me and shan was sOoOo busy..
n we cant even have our little time to rest..
yet..
after settle everythg, n we finally hav our precious 30min rest..
we stil gotta refill OUR ROOM 5liter water x 4!!
She was soOoOOo free until i think she almost finish her TVB drama..
sleeping 3 times more than me n shan..
n yet...
a simple thg like filing d water to her seems like its a vy vy hard work..

i'm trying hard 2 calm down..
n i'm worried that..
one day..someday...somehow..
this volcano will explode..
i cant stand it anymore...!!

i truly believe in Karma..
yet...
it hits me v what they had done to us..
Once, i believe in true friendship..
yet....

(speechless.....)

p/s: miss Loke..
.pls stop convincing urself that u hav ady let go..u are not ready!!
yet..i'm sure that u'll b able to do it someday with the continuous attitude by them!!gambateh!!